You guys know each other so well that one can finish the other’s sentence. He knows what you are thinking, and you hold his deepest secrets. You guys are the prefect match. Besides being your significant other, he is also your best friend. If everything is so perfect, why doesn’t he propose?
Having a man get on one knee and making you his blushing bride is a moment almost every woman craves.
Take Amanda for example:
She’s been with Kenneth since the age of 18. Six years and way too many break-ups & make-ups later they are still together finding themselves feeling stronger about each other.
This may sound like the perfect story, but Amanda had an itch, on her left hand’s ring finger, for three years now. It all started in 2006. Everyone around her made her feel Kenneth would propose. They kept dropping what she thought were hints. Although she wasn’t at all prepared for marriage and had thought about it for many years later, she tried to prepare herself. She knew the love was there, but that year was when she figured out just how much she loved him. Marriage didn’t scare her (well marriage with him). July 31st arrived and was gone and the proposal never happened.
Since then, Amanda has been agonizing about marriage for a long time. The pressure has been haunting her. Not only is everyone at work constantly announcing their engagements and honeymoon plans, but also every year her family expects him to propose. And it doesn’t help that every time she finds one of her high school friends on facebook, they are either married, or about to be married.
Kenneth knows Amanda wants her relationship to ascend to another level, and so does he. Recently he wrote her a note that read:
“I know you’re stressed out about marriage, but honestly I don’t deserve you if I can’t take care of u and our future family. I really have plans for us. I just wanna set us up for the future so we don’t have to worry about anything.”
She started to think about what if they did get married right now? Where would they live? Yes, they would be happy, but financially they would be stressed, which could affect their relationship. Now they are saving toward their future. And since they are young, waiting isn’t a problem.
Occasionally she finds herself watching her friends and family walking down the aisle and knows that one day Kenneth will grant her the wish of taking the walk herself.
Like Amanda, there are many women who would love to walk down the aisle and into the land of happily ever after. One of the reasons men don’t feel the pressure of marriage is that they are running on a different biological clock than women. Women have the disadvantage that their time will run out. However, men do not realize it. The good thing is that science has improved and now women are able to have children well into their forties.
Sometimes women give men everything they would in a marriage. This is not going to help; instead, it can hurt your chances. Ever heard the expression “Why buy a cow if you already have the milk?” What this means is that if a man is getting everything he would in a marriage, why get married? Nothing will be different. Just give him a glimpse of the incentives he will receive in marriage. I’m not only referring to sexual activities, but also to the treatment you will give him.
I know persistence pays off, but nagging and constantly talking about marriage will only prolong it. Let him mention it. Observe him and let him talk about the plans he has for the future. You have to make sure you aren’t putting all your efforts into dragging someone into something that isn’t going to work. The boyfriend and girlfriend stage is the preview of marriage. If you don’t like what you see now, it will only get worse during marriage. Of course communication is key, so when there is a problem talking about it is the solution.
One of the biggest issues couples face is finance. Planning ahead and preparing yourselves for a better future, will prevent the strain financial difficulties may put on your relationship. Like in Amanda’s case waiting might be the smartest idea.
Perhaps the question isn’t why he is not proposing. The real issue may be why not just wait and see.
That is my opinion. What's yours? Feel free to comment and post your ideas and opinions.
I know the feeling all too well of the pressure that we as women sometimes feel to settle down and get married. I agree with the idea of just relaxing a little bit and letting things flow. Comparing ourselves to others and trying to stick to whatever standards society has set will only drive us crazy. Just enjoy the moment. Great advice!!