Why Isn't He Proposing?

You guys know each other so well that one can finish the other’s sentence. He knows what you are thinking, and you hold his deepest secrets. You guys are the prefect match. Besides being your significant other, he is also your best friend. If everything is so perfect, why doesn’t he propose?

Having a man get on one knee and making you his blushing bride is a moment almost every woman craves.

Take Amanda for example:

She’s been with Kenneth since the age of 18. Six years and way too many break-ups & make-ups later they are still together finding themselves feeling stronger about each other.

This may sound like the perfect story, but Amanda had an itch, on her left hand’s ring finger, for three years now. It all started in 2006. Everyone around her made her feel Kenneth would propose. They kept dropping what she thought were hints. Although she wasn’t at all prepared for marriage and had thought about it for many years later, she tried to prepare herself. She knew the love was there, but that year was when she figured out just how much she loved him. Marriage didn’t scare her (well marriage with him). July 31^st arrived and was gone and the proposal never happened.

Since then, Amanda has been agonizing about marriage for a long time. The pressure has been haunting her. Not only is everyone at work constantly announcing their engagements and honeymoon plans, but also every year her family expects him to propose. And it doesn’t help that every time she finds one of her high school friends on facebook, they are either married, or about to be married.

Kenneth knows Amanda wants her relationship to ascend to another level, and so does he. Recently he wrote her a note that read:

“I know you’re stressed out about marriage, but honestly I don’t deserve you if I can’t take care of u and our future family. I really have plans for us. I just wanna set us up for the future so we don’t have to worry about anything.”

She started to think about what if they did get married right now? Where would they live? Yes, they would be happy, but financially they would be stressed, which could affect their relationship. Now they are saving toward their future. And since they are young, waiting isn’t a problem.

Occasionally she finds herself watching her friends and family walking down the aisle and knows that one day Kenneth will grant her the wish of taking the walk herself.

Like Amanda, there are many women who would love to walk down the aisle and into the land of happily ever after. One of the reasons men don’t feel the pressure of marriage is that they are running on a different biological clock than women. Women have the disadvantage that their time will run out. However, men do not realize it. The good thing is that science has improved and now women are able to have children well into their forties.

Sometimes women give men everything they would in a marriage. This is not going to help; instead, it can hurt your chances. Ever heard the expression “Why buy a cow if you already have the milk?” What this means is that if a man is getting everything he would in a marriage, why get married? Nothing will be different. Just give him a glimpse of the incentives he will receive in marriage. I’m not only referring to sexual activities, but also to the treatment you will give him.

I know persistence pays off, but nagging and constantly talking about marriage will only prolong it. Let him mention it. Observe him and let him talk about the plans he has for the future. You have to make sure you aren’t putting all your efforts into dragging someone into something that isn’t going to work. The boyfriend and girlfriend stage is the preview of marriage. If you don’t like what you see now, it will only get worse during marriage. Of course communication is key, so when there is a problem talking about it is the solution.

One of the biggest issues couples face is finance. Planning ahead and preparing yourselves for a better future, will prevent the strain financial difficulties may put on your relationship. Like in Amanda’s case waiting might be the smartest idea.

Perhaps the question isn’t why he is not proposing. The real issue may be why not just wait and see.

That is my opinion. What's yours? Feel free to comment and post your ideas and opinions.

Where is Mr. Right?

This is a question Carly asks herself every day. The 23-year-old sits at her desk browsing the Internet, in the hopes of finding the perfect match.“Am I just a loser?” She asks looking away from the Craigslist website. She has been searching for people, who like her, are looking to find “the one.” “People tell me to leave it up to fate and destiny, but all fate has provided me with has been perverted old men, men with anger problems, ones who rely on me for money, and even questionably gay men.” “I still have hope that one day the Knight on the white horse will show up and rescue me.” Carly’s fairy tales never have happy endings. For some odd reason she always hops on the wrong horse.

First there was Charles. He was a very handsome man with big hair to match his personality, but turned out to be a 40-year-old pervert.

Next there was Derek. At first he was cute, funny and charming, but she later discovered he was slightly psychotic. He left angry messages on her voicemail causing Carly to change her phone number.

Then there was Marcos, who wasn’t physically attractive, but caught Carly’s attention with his intelligence. However, she was quickly disappointed by his arrogance and his “angry black man” conversations. The last straw was when he asked her to western union him $300. They never spoke again.

Finally, there was Ricky. He had caramel eyes, a charming personality, smelled amazing and had a great sense of humor. He was the perfect man, but not for her…for another man. Yes, he was gay.

Why is Carly attracting the wrong men? She holds a degree in Psychology. She is currently studying to get her masters; she’s tall and slim with curves in the right places. She is a sweet sensitive girl with an amazing personality…So now…you may ask yourself what is wrong with her. The answer to that question is absolutely nothing. The only thing I believe she is doing wrong is looking for love.

Like Carly, there are many women eager to find their soul mate. They want to make sure they have that special someone to share a blissful life with.

I say don’t look for love, let love find you. Have you ever lost something and you look and look and never find it? Then once you stop looking it randomly appears. That is the same way cupid will work his magic. He will strike when you least expect it. Try to focus more on yourself. Something I think would work is enrolling in activities you like to do. There, you are likely to meet people with similar interests.

We women have to stop mulling over the flawless man we want to find. It’s not like you can make a list and have God build a person that matches the qualities you put on there.You are likely to find a flaw that is not on your “perfect man” list.

Throw the list away. If not you might be dooming yourself to never finding Mr. Right, and like Carly continue to date Mr. Right Now.

What do you do to find Mr. Right? Discuss...

My Purpose...

Have you ever watched a movie and imagined you were the main character? I know I have. Watching romantic movies that sweep you off your feet make you feel that you, too, can attain happiness. However, they also set your expectations for relationships at a higher level. Wouldn't it feel awesome to hear and watch true love stories that actually happened?It's even nice to see how people handle situations when the story's ending is not so peachy.

Listening to friends, family and co-workers talk about the best and the worst of their relationships has inspired me to write/blog. Why? Well after watching the development, maintenance, and survival of many relationships, it gave me the understanding that many women feel the same way or are encountering the same issues. I believe sharing the experiences will help others realize that they are not alone. It will also show them that problems have solutions. Wouldn’t you want to fulfill your life and have great relationships? I believe this Blog will help those who are married, single, dating, or dealing with a break-up. Romantic relationships will not be my only focus. I will also extend my advice to those having issues with parents, family members, and friends. I believe reading my postings will not only be helpful but also enjoyable.

Here you will read about real people. Although the names are changed (for privacy purposes) the stories are 100% real. I will provide you with my honest opinion, based on my observations and research. Feel free to comment, share your own experiences and ask questions...Enjoy!