Waiting until marriage to have sex? What kind of weirdo are you? No one waits anymore, or do they?The answer is yes. There are many people who wait and as cheesy as it may sound there are others who after they've had sex change their minds and decide to wait until marriage. They reclaim their virginity, which can also be called secondary virginity.
I recently received an email from my friend, Lucy. In her email she expressed her sentiments about having a boyfriend and not being ready for sex. As I continued to read, I came across a question; a question that had I given it any less thought, I would have answered incorrectly. “How will I have a successful relationship, if relationships are all about the intimacy? Can my relationship be successful without intimacy?” After giving the question some thought, I realized she was saying intimacy but referring to sex.
Many times intimacy is equated with sex. We fail to realize that there are other ways of being intimate that don’t involve sex. Have you ever felt goose bumps just from looking into your honey’s eyes, felt tingles just from hearing him say I love you, or just felt safe while resting your head on his shoulder during a movie? That’s intimacy. Intimacy can be learning to love the same things your partner loves. It can also be laughing together, sharing a meal and just spending time together. Sex is just one way of being intimate.
Of course there are times when kissing that special someone makes you want to betray your morals and feed your cravings, but that’s normal. Who doesn’t have sexual desires? You’re human. However, it isn’t always necessary to act on your impulses. We need to place less importance on the physical act of sex and more emphasis on the emotional connection between two people. Take the time to learn about that person; their likes and dislikes, fears and hopes.
Being in a sexless relationship shows patience and commitment. Your sex drive isn’t going to be the same 60 years down the line. Knowing that a person can be there for you without it could be a sign that the person is actually worth your time. Never compromise your morals. Betraying your morals may lead you to resent your partner and these feelings will eventually ruin your relationship.
As for Lucy, I finally gave her an answer. I advised her not to follow the crowd and talk to her partner. In the end she should do what is best for her. Finally, I told her that if she isn’t ready it’s okay to wait; “the best things are worth waiting for and the right partner will understand that.”
Have an opinion? Please post it or feel free to email me at: rose032385@gmail.com
